When people ask me if I’m dating or married I often say, “Nope. I’m a single pringle.”
I say that to get a laugh and to break the tension because the crickets and stares that typically follow that negative statement are some of the most awkward moments I’ve ever experienced. Now, not all relationship status conversations grind to a screeching halt, sometimes nuggets of wisdom are shared from couples who have celebrated 35 years together.
But, some see 31 and single as ‘Project Status.’
Let me preface this article by saying…
I’m single, and I’m ok with it.
I think people don’t realize how hurtful that question is or they have no idea what to say to fill the silence. Either way, it is no fun to be treated like it’s their mission to change your relationship status. The last thing we need is to be set up with their cousin’s roommates best friend’s brother for a blind date.
Ok, so your first question is probably, “Well how do I know if they are single if I don’t ask?”
Good Question.
And to that I say. Why are you asking? What is your motivation? Are you nosey? Or do you like us and want to genuinely set us up with a reputable person in your life?
There are a lot of motivations out there for someone to ask that question, and you are asking us to answer the question without us knowing your motivation. This statement may sound untrustworthy that we might automatically think the worst. However, we are the only ones protecting ourselves from this treatment. So pardon us for forming a thick skin to this.
Here are my tips for talking to a Single Person.
1. Don’t ask us if we are single. Just have a conversation with us.
If you need an opening question to start a conversation how about, “How is your family doing?” This question opens up a dialog, but only in the direction, the single pringle feels comfortable.
2. Ask said single pringle if they are open to being set up. Do not. I repeat you do not give out their cell number without their permission. It’s a massive breach of trust and can result in, at the very least a very embarrassing conversation. If the single pringle says no that needs to be the end of the conversation.
3. If you find a single pringle who you legitimately want to set up with your cousin’s, roommates, best friend’s brother for a blind date. Please consider this: Just because two people are single doesn’t mean they are meant for each other. Relationships are more than timing.
4. You cannot force a connection if your cousin’s, roommates, best friend’s brother and said single pringle do go out on a blind date. If they took the time/effort to show up, gave the date a chance, asked questions and engaged and no chemistry followed you cannot manufacture it. If either party says, “Hey we tried it didn’t work out.” The matter should be dropped.
5. If however, the date went splendidly, let it unfold at its own pace. Although you get to claim the title of “I introduced them” you cannot claim the title of the third person in their relationship. A relationship is between two people. But maybe you could be a professional matchmaker!
For my fellow Single Pringles,
You are chosen. Holy. Deeply Loved.
If we are honest with ourselves, most of us would love to receive roses and chocolate and cuddle with our partners on Valentines. And we are allowed to be sad about that if we want without being labeled pathetic.
I want to encourage you with this…
By being in a relationship with Christ, you are guaranteed…
-He is never going to break your heart
-He will never cheat or lie
-He will never leave
-He will never get bored
-He is not threatened by your dreams
-He wants you to succeed
-He loves and cherished you
-He is patient, loyal, honest and good
-He’s funny, charming & creative
And many more things too long to list. Don’t all these traits sound like the perfect gentlemen?
I know, I know he doesn’t have physical arms to hold us tight. He can’t kiss you and tuck your hair behind your ears, look deep into your eyes and tell you, you’re beautiful and be talking about more than your physical appearance. But, this is how he feels about you. You are His precious one.
Do you know how I know?
Because in the moments when I needed him most; in the hospital after life-threatening surgery, in the hospital room holding my uncle’s hand all night until he took his last breath, in the waiting room about to say goodbye to my grandfather for the last time, in my grandmother’s bedroom singing worship songs as her spirit went to live with Jesus, my uncle, and grandfather. In the grocery aisle, I had passed three times because I couldn’t find the cinnamon and prayed that I would. In traffic as I drummed on my steering wheel pleading with Him that I could get to work on time.
In the moments right before I entered a room full of strangers hoping I would be ‘enough,’ fun enough, interesting enough, likable enough to make a new friend. In those moments He never left me. He loves us unconditionally. There is nothing that can separate us from that love. He never pushed his way into my life. He waits for me to come to Him. And he is waiting for you to come to Him.
So next time the Valentine’s candy aisle at the grocery store gets you down, remember that He has given you every wildflower in the universe for you to enjoy. He made it with you in mind. He loves you, you silly beautiful single pringle. Just because an earthly man hasn’t put a ring on it does not mean you aren’t worthy.
Love you, and I’m right there with you.
XOXO, Lovelies!
